Embracing the pain of friendship…what does that even mean?

Psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend speak of how people will change their behaviors only when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain involved in change. How might that apply to friendships? Is it possible that we only seek out friendships when the pain of being alone is greater than that of making or having friends? I guess that’s just how we’re wired.

Or is it? Might it be that giving us new wiring is a part of God making all things new in our lives? Should not the gospel include a new perspective about the value of the pains through which we journey? I believe it does. As a self-avowed introvert, I can say it is not always easy or simple to make friends. The pain involved in putting oneself ‘out there’ for the sake of starting a conversation or sharing an email address doesn’t always seem worth it. It will often come down to how much ‘pain’ I am willing to risk for the sake of that which is, at least on the surface, less painful.

It’s at that moment when I remember someone else willing to embrace pain for the sake of bringing a new kind of friendship to humanity. The only thing about his pain was that it was not a lesser pain; it was the greatest pain of all: the pain of taking humanity’s sins as his, so that we would no longer have to live under the curse – the pain – of sin.

Sunday, March 1st, will be a time for the entire church body to come together to consider how we introduce people to Jesus Christ. Reverend Jim Blue of Sunrise Church in O’Fallon is taking the time to come and serve as our facilitator. I ask you to do all you can to clear your calendar for that Sunday’s worship, communion, potluck meal, and conversation. It will be a pain…no…a JOY worth embracing.